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We'd sit around and roll our dice
And kill our friends, and hack and slice
And everything we'd try to do
We gamed it out in RuneQuest Two (RuneQuest Two)
We played them all, those Cults of Prax
From Apple Lane, to Chaos attacks
We plundered Griffins' treasure-chests
We thought we'd go on HeroQuests
Then Third Edition got released
For forty quid, we all got fleeced
The publishers don't give a fart
They sold us Dave Dobyski's art
You had the time, you had the vision
We really need a new edition:
RuneQuest Two.
All we hear is Hero Wars ga ga
Hero Wars goo goo,
Hero Wars ga ga
All we hear is action point transfers,
Cultural keywords:
Hero Wars, what's new?
RuneQuest Two, someone still loves you!
We'd fight them all, those beastly Foes
In melee rounds, for hours and hours
We hardly need to read their stats
We'd memorised the combat charts
Let's hope you never leave, old friend
On your good rules Glorantha depends
So keep your rule books: you might miss these
Next year when Hasbro buys Issaries
You had the time, you had the vision
We really need a new edition:
RuneQuest Two.
All we hear is Hero Wars ga ga
Hero Wars goo goo,
Hero Wars ga ga
All we hear is tons of errata,
Paperback format, printing disaster
All we hear is hundred-word essays,
Misapplied worship:
Hero Wars, what's new?
RuneQuest Two,
Someone still loves you!
Tune: Radio
Ga Ga (Queen)
Words: Nick Brooke
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